As of January 2006, I am pleased to announce that
Collaborative Divorce Practice is another specialty I can offer clients.

Collaborative Divorce Practice:
What is it and What makes it so exciting.

The Collaborative Divorce Practice (CDP) is a revolutionary new way for couples to divorce in a humane, respectful and dignified manner.

CDP offers a true alternative to the costly (both emotionally and financially) adversarial process where litigated solutions can take years to resolve.

Divorce is never easy, so why not get all the support available?

In Collaborative Divorce, an interdisciplinary team of specialists offers invaluable guidance and information each step of the way, helping spouses negotiate a post-divorce co-parenting plan with as little angst and trauma as possible.

WHAT MAKES THE COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE PRACTICE SO DIFFERENT:

In Collaborative Divorce Practice (CDP), all professionals in this model contract not to litigate.

Unlike mediation where spouses receive help form one neutral person who supports both parties in their divorce plan, CDP offers each spouse his/her own attorney and his/her own licensed mental health specialist who provide short term Divorce Coaching. The Divorce Coach helps each spouse articulate what s/he or they really need (short and long term goals) and then finds ways to reach a negotiated settlement that is based on honest communication.

In addition, the Collaborative team includes a neutral financial specialist who provides the divorcing couple with an assessment of their current financial assets, how various divorce arrangements might be handled financially as well as other financial options to consider so that informed decisions for the present and the future can be made consciously.

Also essential to this model is the Child Specialist. S/he meets with each of the children and communicates to the spouses and their coaches in a 5 -way meeting what the children are thinking and feeling. The Child Specialist also offers information about age appropriate behavior and needs so these can be factored into post divorce co-parenting plans. Often children, who are the most powerless members of a family, are either not heard, not heard accurately, or are interviewed in an attempt to elicit custody preferences. This puts children in an untenable situation.

Parents need to know what their children genuinely think and feel when making a post-divorce co-parenting plan. And since children often want to protect one or both parents, they rarely communicate what they truly feel, thus the value of an impartial specialist who acts as their "voice" in the process without making custody recommendations.

With all these specialists on board isn't this more costly?

Although new to New York, Collaborative Divorce Practice has been in existence since the 1990's. As mentioned earlier, since all members of this interdisciplinary team contractually agree not to litigate, we have found that CDP costs about 50% of litigated cases. Because everyone signs onto a transparent process where honest communication is valued and encouraged, progress is typically more rapid, particularly since all members of the team choose to cooperate (including the professionals) and are not invested in extending the conflict and further polarizing an already vulnerable situation.

Typically, what drives the cost in divorce proceedings are unresolved emotional issues that impede communication and negotiation. This is why the Divorce Coaches are so vital - they help each spouse reduce reactivity and stay engaged with the process - making a co-parenting plan that works. This is not therapy - it is a focused short term process that is very goal oriented.

However, let me approach the question of cost from another perspective.

Generally speaking, divorce is not cheap - any route one takes involves a financial commitment - unless one pursues Pro Se and self-represents. However, it is the emotional toll of the adversarial process that scars one for years to come. And in the heat of the conflict, poor judgment is often exercised and spouses may agree to plans that they regret both with regard to parenting plans and to financial options.

While the benefits of the CDP have been experienced by lawyers, financial specialists and therapists alike in hundreds of cases successfully negotiated - there are no guarantees. In order for this process to work - the remaining members of the team - you the divorcing spouses - must choose to cooperate and stay committed to the principles of the process in order to get the best results. When this happens, co-parenting plans can be put in place that offer the best possible solution for all parties concerned.

To learn more about Collaborative Divorce Practice visit http://www.collaborativepractice.com or contact me so we can talk and see if this is an appropriate model for you and your family to consider.